Wednesday, February 16, 2011


This one my final taste of 'syok-sendiri' or interframe during tv9 news closing..:) how we enjoy this bit. yes, we are all bunch of self-centered least once in awhile know, just for the sake of being in front of the camera for a change (all of them featured in this video had the chance going on-air) heart this moment..although we had to work our butts off during EID..but due to bunch of beautiful peeps at work; working on public holidays was ever so fun. :))


One of my final assignments in TV9 before quitting the job. This one here was for recap news for year ending 2010 and i had to do artist/celebrity story to be featured. I had the honor of interviewing renowned film director the late Yasmin Ahmad's family and famous nasheed entertainer, Asri (Rabbani)'s wife. Did the editing/script..everything you see here was my own handwork except the voice-over of course and videography was done by dear colleague of mine: Azley Abdullah. *sigh* i miss doing all this, editing, reporting ..the hectic works..combining visuals and sounds is my heart broadcasting..and all over all for the dream of becoming an academician....:((

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Serve YOU right, sucker..!

AHA. so ok, omit that "s" word and pardon my language. Because you will see in due time, i am not cursing anyone else but me. Now, that is rare these days right, like how many of you guys out there would really blame yourselves if things ain't going the way you wanted it to be.

2. One friend (i usually address that friend as 'stranger') of mine once called me 'indecisive' kinda person. Of course hearing that the first time, i put on my guards and become very, defensive. naturally. Who in this world would like to think themselves in that way.

3. Now, over the years since i first had that remarks ( that would be about 5 years) i think i am in a way indecisive kinda person, and that my friend, aint looking too good.

4. A little announcement before that. Mind you, i had just celebrated my 29th birthday last 9th of February. Yes, very recently. what have i accomplished throughout the years of my life? Wow, that would be the question of the day now wouldn't it.

5. 29 years. Man, that is long. Just one year shy of entering the so-called "3-series" group. Gulp. Yes, am aging. Yes, that is encounting. And, no, don't give that crap "Age is just a number baby" because it is not JUST a number. With age, in particular women that have given birth; comes many thing with it OK. And all of it ain't glory.

6. YES, at 29 i am already a mommy. Some would regard that as "so what?", well some would think otherwise and shrieked "oh, what?". HA, believe me, i have gotten both of the expression mentioned everytime i told them i am what i am to a 19+ months toddler.

7. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not at all whining because i am already a mommy to this beautiful gift from Allah. She's just adorable, of course can be a handsful but that is how it is with kids her age..i am blessed to have her in my life. All those 9 months + extra (overdue) 2 weeks + horrendous delivery ordeal + hectic BF in that early 6 months of her life = speechless. IF given the chance, I would do it all over again ( the pregnancy) and embrace with open heart the mommy life... (hey, i do kinda sound like i want to be pregnant again now don't i? ;p) because the first time, back then not until my 2 trimester of the pregnancy was i embracing the fact that i am pregnant, that there was a life, another soul in me..yes, i was that denial smuck and have actually drank caffein excessively when i knew i was late on my monthly cycles.

8. BUT, due to Allah's will. Kun fa ya kun. Allah give this life in me and the first time hearing her heartbeat, only then, I was no longer in denial. And, now, seeing her grow in front of me, i hope to be able to watch her grow all the way, to see she weds and have babies of her own..insyaAllah. This mommy feeling is so overwhelming. And i hope Allah will give me the strength to cope with motherhood, the whole nine-yards; not just the happy bits...

9. From she was a lil baby, right after my confinement (in Malay tradition, mommies have to stay confined after given birth for 2 months at least: during that whole ordeal, they are not allowed to have cold foods and drinks, go on a strict diet and health regimes in order to restore back the lost energy and of course in hopes of getting the mommies back in shape, no 'intimacy' also in the list with the partner until after this confinement)

10. ANYways..point of this thread is that, I have had help since day one of given birth to my daughter. Help, in terms of someone's looking over her. The first 2 months, of course i had my mother to watch over me although she didn't really like take care of me 110% as compared with my 2 sisters when they had to deal with their first child. (especially with my oldest sis, because back then mom was all better than she is nowadays, lucky you oldest sis! *grrr..joke*)

11. I am grateful though, that at least she is still around at that particular time for me, given me pointers of how to take care of an infant etc. and really hope she would still live to watch many more of her grandkids grow. Ameen.

12. So after confinement, it was back to the horrendous working schedule of mine back then. AS i was working on odd-hours and days (that means no exclusive public holidays etc) my choices were to engage a maid or send to a nursery.

13. This IS Malaysia. The standards of nursery here aren't really that reliable. Sure, there are standards to obliged to like license approved by ministry of women, child and family development. BUT, because IT IS MALAYSIA; then rules are just rules, license or not the reality is: too many nurseries mushrooming without authorization and a known fact to the officials but they just don't care too much to do anything about it.

14. AND because THIS IS MALAYSIA, only when there are deaths/serious mishaps/cases in nursery/kindies etc, only then the authority will take action BUT being MALAYSIAN, usually all actions taken are just seasonal basis..and life will resume back to its old position once the issues at hand is resolved.

15. SO, what choices left for a desperate working mom like me had back then? I just had to find a maid. OF course with MAIDS nowadays, there are just TOO many cases of them fleeing/disappering after working for a particular period of time in a home and the employer bare the costs of replacement! *sigh*

16. HOWEVER, remembered i said i one of those desperate parent? SO i opted for choice "having a maid" and F to anyone, hell even to the authority; I had 2 of illegal MAIDS. why? Because having a legal one is too damn expensive with the mushrooming cut throat agencies, and 8/10 cases of legal maids would flee once they got in this country and if you report them, the authority would simply dismiss the case as "ah, so what? get another one" F you! another one would cost a whopping rm6k-rm9k!

17. ALAS, i am now maidless. After 2 maids; the first one was actually kind to babies because she is a mom herself and she's here purely with a clear conscience to work hard and earned a living because life for her was pitiful back in her homeland..HOWEVER, my mom didn't like her that much because she was a bit slow (language barier and the fact she was uneducated so you had to instructed her many times); while the second maid was all the better one in terms of handling housechores as compared with the first, ONLY that she is that fierce young lady (after 8 months, my daughter still very scared of her, wonder why), and because she thinks she's smart, she IS smart now to start making the home like her own: taking over the place and that peeps is a HELL no for me.

18. BUT only after 3 consecutive months of having to face her many dramas and i-like-to-extend-my-holidays-whenever-i-pleased kinda of attitude, i decided to SACK her off! OK OK, nothing dramatic like that. (though i would very much like to) SO after weighing it, with a heavy splitted heart (mind you, "heavy heart" not because i hate to see she leaves, but more to i hate the part that i have to take over of the cleaning/housechores at the same time having time to study because that is my priority now: STUDY as i am PAID for that!).

19. SO yeah, after much fretting...i am officially maidless now. and life is hard. NOT THAT i dont enjoy playing mommy 24-7; BUT The fact i have to do it while also concentrating to my very demanding tasks as a student of MALAYA Uni...that is HARD! Extremely hard. and to that, i fret, and whine about my life. DID i make the right decision or this is a classic case of "SErve You Right Sucker!" ...only time will tell.

20. I NEED intervention. I NEED a MAID. I need Someone to take care of my baby girl while i GO TO CLASS...I NEED HELP!

**Mommy Heart Raihanna**

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


1. For the gezillion times, i've been slacking off when it comes to writing me thoughts on this blogsphere. I've got so many things to jot down and tell the world, really i had alot of amusing tales to share, but again the poor internet connection in my housing area via my iphone was what hindering me from posting any updates.

2. No! i am not whining. Just mere sharing my inner thoughts and justification for the reasons why i have been slacking off to write.

3. Now that finals is closing in..( end of this month - november), i find myself locked in with no way out from hell on earth. LOL, yes, this university despite its glorious-media hyped- status, is nothing but...(at least for my department)

4. No doubt it is trying to live up to its reputation being the so-called number one in this country and struggling to keep its status among the best uni in the region..(which it had failed in the last few years) BUT it doesn't have to be a daft about it.

5. What is the good of nurturing a student to its full potential in academia, if those students are not made aware of any of their potentials? No feedbacks, so -called restriction by the virtue of 100% trust on the lecturer's credibility..Bah. Bull!

6. I am not dissing the lecturers mind you. I am dissing the restriction. the so-called status imperative if this uni wants to make its ISO what not.

7. Where is the logic? Shouldn't a student be told or acknowledge of their own flops? Their mistakes, their weaknesses, their strengths? So that they can improve more, study harder; all of which will proved beneficial to both sides not just the students.

8. BUT hell no. this uni, doesn't think so. I find it is so undemocratic in a way, preposterous almost for such system as this being implemented.

9. And so amid all that undemocracy, bizzarreness...the students are expected to know-it-all..regardless, while there is no help from the other end - except blunt "don't panic, do your best"

10. the absurdity goes beyond imagination.

11. Don't get me started with the imcompentence of the workforce. at least one in particular. Not only that person doesn't do much, except warms the seat everytime throughout lecture time, that person also so-called puts a high level of ethics or professionalisme that he/she thinks possessed by not HELPING students even if it means aiding with notes that he/she gives away during lecture. Adding more insult to injure, that person is the only person who didn't do any test/quizzes - so how the hell are we supposed to exercise ourself with finals that carry massive 50% marks?

12. For all the hyped- the branding- this uni is indeed a champion of all champions but on the ground, it really needs a lot more to master to boast itself in academia.

13. Alas, all the students are in the department, paying the scrap out of their pockets or in case of lucky fews the scrap of someone else's pockets for this whole 1 -2 years in academia..simply put, we pay for your though we don't expect for you to spill the finals exams question before hand, or have an open book test- AT LEAST be dignified in sustaining the system of EDUCATING another soul not reprimand them or fry them to bits because oh-you-dont-understand? (hell yeah, because the teachers themselves don't except textbook style)

14. I miss dearly two individuals of the department that has quit the job last month..for in my opnion, those two were the epitome of good ol' academician.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Masin mulut?

Masin mulut. Tapi ini bukan kisah lidah sesiapa pandai merasa, mahupun bukan kisah makanan. 10 minit sebelum 'black-out' di tmn perumahan aku, aku mintak maid aku cari bekalan lilin yang ada di bilik stor. Dia jumpa. Aku seronok sebab bekalan lilin wangi aku masih baik dan wangi! Aku suruh maid aku simpan di tempat yang senang dicari manalah tahu ada kejadian blackout lagi (yang sejak akhir ini kerap berlaku di kawasan aku).

Masin mulut aku! 10 minit berlalu, "kepoffff" segala kipas syiling, tv, mesin minuman air panas dan dapur elektrik aku padam. Aku geleng kepala. Macam mana nak masak makan tengah hari ini- daging sudah dihiris nipis, bawang-bawang sudah dimayang..semuanya tinggal disatukan dalam periuk ditenggekkan atas dapur yang sekarang sudah padam dek tiada bekalan elektrik.
Mujur anak kesayangan aku yang masih kecil sudah tidur (itupun kebetulan tertidur dalam kereta yang ada penyaman udara). Kalau tidak, mesti dia meragam, maklumlah tak tahan panas.
Mujur juga cuaca di luar (jam 1tengah hari) ketika itu tidak terik. Titis-titis hujan lebat dan berpanjangan sejak awal pagi tadi masih ada sekaligus mendinginkan suasana. Terasa seperti di kawasan tanah tinggi, walhal aku tinggal dalam kawasan lembah.

Tik tok tik tok...masa berlalu. Bertemankan kipas bateri anak aku, aku temankan si kecil aku tidur di sebelahnya. Oh tidak ya, aku belum tertidur! Kesempatan yang ada aku gunakan untuk mentelaah artikel berhubung kait pembelajaran aku. (rajin bukan?)

Tik tok tik tok...sudah jam 2 petang. Hampir 2 jam kawasan rumah aku tiada bekalan elektrik. Aku terfikir untuk mengadu hal ini ke TNB. Nombor aku cari menggunakan kecanggihan iphone aku: 15454. Ingat nombor itu untuk aduan umum.

Peti suara yang menjawab. Maaf pegawai kami sibuk, nombor giliran anda 35 dan akan dilayan dalam masa 12 minit. Dalam hati aku, "iyooolah tu". Aku diberikan pilihan, sama ada menunggu ditalian atau tinggalkan nombor telefon untuk dipanggil balik. Aku pilih yang kedua.

Tik tok tik tok...masih tiada wakil TNB membalas panggilan aku. Kaki yang aku lunjurkan sudah rasa kurang dingin. Kipas angin anak aku semakin lemah. Tulisan-tulisan dalam artikel yang aku baca nampak semakin kecil dan pudaaaaarr.....zzzzzz. Ya, kali ini aku tertidur.

Aku sedar apabila anak aku merengek. Aku lihat jam 3:15pm..aku kerling ke kipas syiling, masih tiada elektrik. Janji TNB untuk hubungi semula ditepati, namun talian tidak jelas dan aku memulakan kembali prosedur awal tadi. Aku masih tunggu. Anak kecil aku masih kuat merengek. Mujur yang jenis ketiga (di atas sudah jelaskan dua jenis nasib baik aku dalam menghadapi insiden ini), suami aku ada hari ini. Dia cuti. Dan kerana anak kecil aku lebih manja dengan dia, aku "terlepas beban" melayan karenah anak kecil aku itu.

Ketika ini, teringat perihal ketiadaan elektrik yang sudah masuk 3 jam setengah. Tiba-tiba naik marah. Tiba-tiba terfikir rumah jiran dibelakang ada menggunakan mesin pengisar, wah dia pakai generator. Aku terfikir untuk beli generator namun kata suami, harga mahal. Aku diam. Masih marah. "apa alternative kita kalau takde letrik?" aku tanyakan pada suami. Dia pula diam.

Tiba-tiba teringat satu dokumentari antarabangsa di tv beberapa bulan lalu. Ia berkisar "ingenuity" masyarakat setempat menebus guna bahan buangan untuk pelbagai kegunaan (negara yang dimaksudkan tentu sekali negara kuasa besar dan maju). Antara yang menarik, menebus guna gas yang dilepaskan ketika proses degrasi di tapak pelupusan sampah! Gas tersebut boleh disaring untuk digunakan sebagai sumber elektrik!

Aku terfikir dengan berlambak-lambak kawasan lupus sampah (bukit gantang etc) kenapa tidak dilakukan di malaysia? Tiada ke syarikat tempatan yang terfikir untuk bawa teknologi berkenaan di sini? Kalau bab franchais makanan segera atau label fesyen berjenama, bukan kemain cepat je masuk pasaran.

Atau kaedah yang sudah sedia popular dan teruji di negara-negara besar; kuasa solar. Memang sudah ada di malaysia, namun tidak meluas. Kenapa tidak kerajaan bina satu pusat pencerapan tenaga solar yang boleh berfungsi seperti projek empangan bernilai jutaan ringgit? Kos pembinaan mungkin lebih mahal namun ia ada nilai sustainability lebih- insyaAllah cahaya matahari tidak akan pudar, berbanding air di empangan yang mengering dek diancam cuaca ekstrim!

Aku terfikir...kenapa? Daripada dok sibuk pilihanraya peringkat negara mahupun parti, daripada dok sibuk buang duit dan tenaga rakyat mempromosikan slogan, daripada dok sibuk cerita retorik politik, daripada dok sibuk mengsibuk-kan diri di peringkat antarabangsa baik di pentas politik mahupun atas nama bantuan kemanusiaan- sibuk kejar nama. Sibuk kibar bendera sambil kejar nama. Semuanya untuk sibuk cari pangkat mana tau untung sabut timbul, datang hari lahir mana-mana sultan dapat ke gelaran Datuk, atau upgrade pingat ke pelbagai jenis "sri".

Aku terfikir...untuk lihat salah satu teknologi alternatif yang disebut dibangunkan di malaysia (teknologi pinjaman sudah cukup kerana mengimpikan teknologi atas idea rakyat tempatan mungkin terlalu "reaching for thr stars")...aku terfikir akan masinkah mulut aku untuk itu? Supaya tak perlu lagi berpanas untuk berjam-jam kerana "system breakdown" stesen janakuasa TNB yang caj tariffnya semakin meninggi.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Biro-krasi atau bior-tak-kasi?

Kadang-kadang aku terpikir kenapa ada manusia suka susahkan manusia lain? Selama ini aku selalu dengar (dan aku pasti) ramai yang selalu berdepan dengan istilah ini. Namun, apakah sebenarnya yang dimaksudkan dengan birokrasi? Kalau mengikut istilah (Wikipedia), ia merujuk kepada cara pentadbiran melaksana/menguatkuasa peraturan-peraturan yang sah secara sosial. i.e. tatacara piawai, pembahagian tanggungjawab, hubungan tidak peribadi. Ia berasal daripada perkataan "biro" yang susur galurnya dari abad ke-18 Eropah Barat; ada kaitan dengan perkataan Perancis "baize"- yang digunakan untuk menutup meja-meja. Akhiran ''Krasi" dari istilah Greek, "kratia","kratos" yang membawa maksud "kuasa" atau "pemerintahan". Nah, jika digabungkan kedua-duanya, lahirlah istilah yang umum sedia maklum kekusutan/impak; "meja+kuasa".

Penghuraian istilah itu sendiri sudah nampak tidak mesra pelanggan, apatah lagi dari sudut aplikasinya dalam aturan harian. Berapa ramai yang mengeluh apabila perlu berdepan (selalunya institusi kerajaan), yang sering dikait dengan imej sarat birokrasi. Selain, imej "pekerja-pekerjanya makan kuaci, sambil layan drama "tangkap leleh", bergossip mulut terjuih mahupun suka buang masa di kantin pejabat sambil menunggu waktu 'tekan kad-keluar'). Terjemahan mudah untuk semua senario yang disebut; pekerja kerajaan sarat penyakit "M". Jangan melatah kalau anda tergolong sebagai pekerja kerajaan, jangan salah sangka, aku jelaskan itu pandangan umum yang sering dikaitkan terhadap pekerja-pekerja kerajaan. Atas dasar apa kesimpulan itu dibuat? Kebanyakkan mungkin akan bersetuju, kerana sering berdepan dengan segelintir pekerja yang berkarenah seperti contoh-contoh yang telah disebut.

Aku sendiri tidak pernah berkhidmat dengan mana-mana institusi/agensi kerajaan (insyaAllah bakal). Justeru, tentu sekali aku tiada pengalaman dan pandangan aku berdasarkan rangkuman kisah-kisah orang lain lalu berkemungkinan besar sedikit berat sebelah. Bahkan tiada kajian khusus (atau mungkin aku silap) yang pernah dilakukan mana-mana pihak untuk 'mengukur' kebenaran pandangan-pandangan tersebut. Sungguhpun begitu, aku berasakan pandangan-pandangan tersebut amat benar selepas terkena 'batang hidung sendiri' karenah birokrasi jabatan sebuah insititusi awam baru-baru ini.

Mungkin ada yang berpendapat, kesulitan yang aku terpaksa hadapi hanya kes terpencil jabatan berkenaan. Namun, sebagai individu yang terpaksa menanggung beban kesan karenah birokrasi mereka, saya tentunya ada pendapat tersendiri-Segala pandangan negatif, "generalization" yang aku sebutkan terdahulu amat tepat menggambarkan cara penyampaian awam sekumpulan besar pekerja-pekerja kerajaan- lembap, penuh alasan & tidak bertanggungjawab.

Terutama dalam aspek pengurusan pembiayaan. Bukan seminggu dua aku dipaksa menunggu, tetapi sudah masuk secara rasminya 2 bulan setengah. Selama tempoh itu juga,aku tidak pernah mengambil tindakan apa-apa,selain terus menunggu, tawakal dan menjadi seperti kebanyakkan orang biasa-biasa tanpa kabel- TUNGGU DAN TERUS TUNGGU. Namun, selepas melihat kecekapan penggendalian sebuah jabatan (juga pengurusan kewangan tetapi institusi berlainan), aku tertanya-tanya, mengapa institusi yang lagi satu itu MAMPU menyelesaikan masalah dalam tempoh kurang seminggu berbanding institusi yang dirintih ini pula prosedurnya memakan masa berbulan.

Pelik bin ajaib. Nak kata gaji pekerja-pekerja yang jabatan penuh cekap dan dedikasi itu berbeza dengan pekerja-pekerja daripada jabatan yang menjadi faktor keluhan cerita ini; rasanya kedua-duanya sama tangga gaji kerana kedua-duanya institusi KERAJAAN. Tangga gaji yang sama, gred yang sama, waktu kerja yang sama, tuntutan kerja yang sama. Oh, nanti...ada yang berbeza. TAHAP KEMALASAN antara yang A dan yang B tidak sama! Justeru, apa yang mampu aku lakukan selain mengeluh pada nasib aku yang tidak siapa nampaknya dari pejabat A (selepas ini bakal dirujuk sedemikian) yang pemalas, kaki dalih, suka merungut banyak kerja dan macam-macam lagi boleh/mahu bantu mempercepatkan proses birokrasi? Tidak ada jalan lain. Setelah dibelek, difikir, tidur dan bangun selepas semua proses itu; aku kekal dengan satu penyelesaian-membuat surat aduan secara rasmi!

APA? BERANI kau? MATI kau nanti...HABISLAH kau, mereka AKAN LABEL kau kaki pengadu, kaki tidak sedar diuntung; kesimpulan mudah, aku akan ditindas dan terus dianiaya kerana memilih penyelesaian tersebut. Ini kata-kata kebanyakkan orang yang dekat pada aku, rakan-rakan dikenali secara zahir (bukan alam maya facebook semata-mata). Tidak dinafikan aku rasa sedikit terganggu dengan ancaman-ancaman yang diandaikan mereka. Tetapi apa daya aku? Apa cara lain yang dapat aku lakukan? 2 bulan setengah satu tempoh bukan sekejap..2 bulan setengah dipinggirkan, dinafikan hak kewangan yang sebelum itu dijanjikan hanya paling lewat akan mengambil masa (tempoh tunggu) 2 minggu selepas mula pengajian!!! 2 minggu dan 2 bulan! BANYAK beza. Hanya orang tidak waras sahaja tidak tahu membezakan tempoh tersebut. Adakah pekerja-pekerja di pejabat A TIDAK waras? Termasuk, ketua pejabatnya TIDAK waras? Aku tertanya-tanya. Sekiranya mereka TIDAK waras, aku dapat maafkan, sesungguhnya orang yang tidak waras i.e. tidak mampu berfikir, tidak ada perasaan terhadap realiti, beban dan perit manusia yang terpaksa menanggung hasil kerja mereka yang TIDAK waras.

Sehingga waktu ini, aku masih menunggu. Dengan lebaran yang bakal tiba, bagi aku tidak ada makna kerana sekiranya perkara ini (kena menunggu) berterusan sehingga sebelum lebaran, apalah bezanya sangat nasib aku dengan seorang fakir? Justeru, apalah daya aku untuk menyambut lebaran. (untuk gambaran lebih jelas, mungkin boleh rujuk dengan lirik lagu 'Cahaya Aidilfitri' dari BlackDogBone, ".....bila tiba hari raya, semua orang bergembira, tetapi bagiku hanya kesedihan yang menyelubungi hidup...siapakah yang sudi menghulurkan simpati terhadap nasibku ini, agar dapat ku rasa nikmati hari raya seperti insan yang lain..". Nah, aku tidak minta SIMPATI daripada si polan-polan yang tidak bertanggungjawab di pejabat A itu, mahupun BUKAN bantuan kewangan dari poket si polan-polan yang tidak bertanggungjawab di pejabat A itu; yang AKU minta supaya SI-POLAN-POLAN tersebut menjadi LEBIH bertanggungjawab dalam MENYELESAIKAN tugas diamanahkan dengan BAYARAN gaji BULANAN TETAP dari kerajaan, untuk memberikan aku HAK aku seperti yang telah dijanjikan. Sebab kalau ini berterusan, nyata BUKAN LAGI KES birokrasi tahap tertinggi, ini sudah jadi karenah BIOR-TAK-KASI yang kronik sebab hanya si polan-polan itu nampaknya hendah beraya, lalu menyelesaikan amanah seperti MENANDATANGANI /MINTA MEREKA BERKENAAN TANDATANGAN satu tugas yang amat berat. Nah kalau ini bukan penyakit "M" apa penyakit ini??

Thursday, July 8, 2010


As aptly titled, I decided to open a new site on blog sphere simply because...i want to. :) After almost 4 years, I've finally 'shred off' from whatever 'bad-chi-skin' I had throughout that particular period of time, from one particular kaishain. Hence the url name - greenerpasturechacha + insyaAllah.

As such this site will be serve as my new raving platform of my new life as gakusei at the oldest university in this country. ( you don't really need to be an einstein to figure that out, unless you don't know square about malaysian history)

With this new place, also means I've added another link to my name in the wireless world.( loser?) perhaps, but there's always two ways of looking at things. And I'd like to see it as another place that I would start new, just like my current state now - new MA student.

I am lucky. (aren't i?) Alhamdulillah. For getting what I want and on the path to my dream. If life is a dream, I'm definitely living it. That's how lucky I am ( for now) and hope it lasts and continuing being catalyst in my life for more beautiful, awarding things in life. Enriching my soul as a person, a daughter, a wife and a mom.

In retrospect to the life that I had before, prior to that glorious official date of 23rd June 2010-I was an angry person. Especially after that 'black-weekend' and more rebellious than I ever been towards the end of my employment. So bitter, that those who didn't understand me would have thought I'm unapproachable or very menacing type of person. The rookies were scared of me. I was not enjoying this of course, but once we do get acquainted, most of the time - I'd clicked! I'm actually very the opposite of the nature that I've been wearing during that 4 years of my adulthood.

To those who know me from childhood, teens, tertiary realm - would instantly agree that I'm very bubbly, cheerful, more often than not - crazy, delightful, i miss PMS too :) you know a lil bit of this and that, and I'm all me.