Wednesday, February 16, 2011


This one my final taste of 'syok-sendiri' or interframe during tv9 news closing..:) how we enjoy this bit. yes, we are all bunch of self-centered least once in awhile know, just for the sake of being in front of the camera for a change (all of them featured in this video had the chance going on-air) heart this moment..although we had to work our butts off during EID..but due to bunch of beautiful peeps at work; working on public holidays was ever so fun. :))


One of my final assignments in TV9 before quitting the job. This one here was for recap news for year ending 2010 and i had to do artist/celebrity story to be featured. I had the honor of interviewing renowned film director the late Yasmin Ahmad's family and famous nasheed entertainer, Asri (Rabbani)'s wife. Did the editing/script..everything you see here was my own handwork except the voice-over of course and videography was done by dear colleague of mine: Azley Abdullah. *sigh* i miss doing all this, editing, reporting ..the hectic works..combining visuals and sounds is my heart broadcasting..and all over all for the dream of becoming an academician....:((

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Serve YOU right, sucker..!

AHA. so ok, omit that "s" word and pardon my language. Because you will see in due time, i am not cursing anyone else but me. Now, that is rare these days right, like how many of you guys out there would really blame yourselves if things ain't going the way you wanted it to be.

2. One friend (i usually address that friend as 'stranger') of mine once called me 'indecisive' kinda person. Of course hearing that the first time, i put on my guards and become very, defensive. naturally. Who in this world would like to think themselves in that way.

3. Now, over the years since i first had that remarks ( that would be about 5 years) i think i am in a way indecisive kinda person, and that my friend, aint looking too good.

4. A little announcement before that. Mind you, i had just celebrated my 29th birthday last 9th of February. Yes, very recently. what have i accomplished throughout the years of my life? Wow, that would be the question of the day now wouldn't it.

5. 29 years. Man, that is long. Just one year shy of entering the so-called "3-series" group. Gulp. Yes, am aging. Yes, that is encounting. And, no, don't give that crap "Age is just a number baby" because it is not JUST a number. With age, in particular women that have given birth; comes many thing with it OK. And all of it ain't glory.

6. YES, at 29 i am already a mommy. Some would regard that as "so what?", well some would think otherwise and shrieked "oh, what?". HA, believe me, i have gotten both of the expression mentioned everytime i told them i am what i am to a 19+ months toddler.

7. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not at all whining because i am already a mommy to this beautiful gift from Allah. She's just adorable, of course can be a handsful but that is how it is with kids her age..i am blessed to have her in my life. All those 9 months + extra (overdue) 2 weeks + horrendous delivery ordeal + hectic BF in that early 6 months of her life = speechless. IF given the chance, I would do it all over again ( the pregnancy) and embrace with open heart the mommy life... (hey, i do kinda sound like i want to be pregnant again now don't i? ;p) because the first time, back then not until my 2 trimester of the pregnancy was i embracing the fact that i am pregnant, that there was a life, another soul in me..yes, i was that denial smuck and have actually drank caffein excessively when i knew i was late on my monthly cycles.

8. BUT, due to Allah's will. Kun fa ya kun. Allah give this life in me and the first time hearing her heartbeat, only then, I was no longer in denial. And, now, seeing her grow in front of me, i hope to be able to watch her grow all the way, to see she weds and have babies of her own..insyaAllah. This mommy feeling is so overwhelming. And i hope Allah will give me the strength to cope with motherhood, the whole nine-yards; not just the happy bits...

9. From she was a lil baby, right after my confinement (in Malay tradition, mommies have to stay confined after given birth for 2 months at least: during that whole ordeal, they are not allowed to have cold foods and drinks, go on a strict diet and health regimes in order to restore back the lost energy and of course in hopes of getting the mommies back in shape, no 'intimacy' also in the list with the partner until after this confinement)

10. ANYways..point of this thread is that, I have had help since day one of given birth to my daughter. Help, in terms of someone's looking over her. The first 2 months, of course i had my mother to watch over me although she didn't really like take care of me 110% as compared with my 2 sisters when they had to deal with their first child. (especially with my oldest sis, because back then mom was all better than she is nowadays, lucky you oldest sis! *grrr..joke*)

11. I am grateful though, that at least she is still around at that particular time for me, given me pointers of how to take care of an infant etc. and really hope she would still live to watch many more of her grandkids grow. Ameen.

12. So after confinement, it was back to the horrendous working schedule of mine back then. AS i was working on odd-hours and days (that means no exclusive public holidays etc) my choices were to engage a maid or send to a nursery.

13. This IS Malaysia. The standards of nursery here aren't really that reliable. Sure, there are standards to obliged to like license approved by ministry of women, child and family development. BUT, because IT IS MALAYSIA; then rules are just rules, license or not the reality is: too many nurseries mushrooming without authorization and a known fact to the officials but they just don't care too much to do anything about it.

14. AND because THIS IS MALAYSIA, only when there are deaths/serious mishaps/cases in nursery/kindies etc, only then the authority will take action BUT being MALAYSIAN, usually all actions taken are just seasonal basis..and life will resume back to its old position once the issues at hand is resolved.

15. SO, what choices left for a desperate working mom like me had back then? I just had to find a maid. OF course with MAIDS nowadays, there are just TOO many cases of them fleeing/disappering after working for a particular period of time in a home and the employer bare the costs of replacement! *sigh*

16. HOWEVER, remembered i said i one of those desperate parent? SO i opted for choice "having a maid" and F to anyone, hell even to the authority; I had 2 of illegal MAIDS. why? Because having a legal one is too damn expensive with the mushrooming cut throat agencies, and 8/10 cases of legal maids would flee once they got in this country and if you report them, the authority would simply dismiss the case as "ah, so what? get another one" F you! another one would cost a whopping rm6k-rm9k!

17. ALAS, i am now maidless. After 2 maids; the first one was actually kind to babies because she is a mom herself and she's here purely with a clear conscience to work hard and earned a living because life for her was pitiful back in her homeland..HOWEVER, my mom didn't like her that much because she was a bit slow (language barier and the fact she was uneducated so you had to instructed her many times); while the second maid was all the better one in terms of handling housechores as compared with the first, ONLY that she is that fierce young lady (after 8 months, my daughter still very scared of her, wonder why), and because she thinks she's smart, she IS smart now to start making the home like her own: taking over the place and that peeps is a HELL no for me.

18. BUT only after 3 consecutive months of having to face her many dramas and i-like-to-extend-my-holidays-whenever-i-pleased kinda of attitude, i decided to SACK her off! OK OK, nothing dramatic like that. (though i would very much like to) SO after weighing it, with a heavy splitted heart (mind you, "heavy heart" not because i hate to see she leaves, but more to i hate the part that i have to take over of the cleaning/housechores at the same time having time to study because that is my priority now: STUDY as i am PAID for that!).

19. SO yeah, after much fretting...i am officially maidless now. and life is hard. NOT THAT i dont enjoy playing mommy 24-7; BUT The fact i have to do it while also concentrating to my very demanding tasks as a student of MALAYA Uni...that is HARD! Extremely hard. and to that, i fret, and whine about my life. DID i make the right decision or this is a classic case of "SErve You Right Sucker!" ...only time will tell.

20. I NEED intervention. I NEED a MAID. I need Someone to take care of my baby girl while i GO TO CLASS...I NEED HELP!

**Mommy Heart Raihanna**